cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
