I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
