In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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