We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
