I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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