just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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