so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
