I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I believe in your delicious
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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