naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize