If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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