do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
barbara walters just said penis...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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