I love having hate sex.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
