If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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