Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
