pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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