'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize