You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Randomize
