Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
