Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
