you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
