you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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