Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
