I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
