margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i was born a porn star she said
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
