Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
