maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
