I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
