I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize