You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
