i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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