I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
