last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
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