Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
50% drunk capacity currently
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
