dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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