brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
