Do you still have your period?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
