VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
