meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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