If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
