why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
