CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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