Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
