On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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