You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Randomize
