Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
