the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize
