woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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