I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The Olympian is in my bed
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
