If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
