Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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