Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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