Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
