so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
