I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
