it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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