I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
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