I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
