I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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