im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
