so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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