you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
