Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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